Words are fascinating. We use them thousands of times every day, sometimes without even thinking. Over time, their meanings change. They even go in and out of fashion.
Whether you like it or not, words have power, especially when it comes to parenting. Used with thoughtful intention, words can build up and create. Used carelessly or worse, recklessly, they can tear down and destroy.
One word that seems to have gone out of fashion is the ‘D’ word, Discipline. Contrary to public opinion, it’s a great word! Due to its association with punishment (another parenting word that’s gone out of fashion), discipline can be perceived negatively, but surely, it’s high time for a revival.
Life Skills
Discipline refers to the instruction or training needed to master a skill or body of knowledge. Similar to the biblical concept of ‘disciple’, they share the same Latin root, discere, which means ‘to learn’. A disciple is a follower or learner, and discipline is the process of teaching, training, or the self-control required to become a learner.
In ancient times, discipline was a core concept. As Ryan Holiday, American marketer and author, explains in the video below, the Stoics were masters of self-discipline. They viewed it as a way to align one’s thoughts, actions, and desires with reason and virtue.
In short, discipline is about focusing on what you can control, your thoughts, actions, and attitudes, and bringing them in line with a higher purpose. As the great pioneer Paul wrote almost 2,000 years ago in 1 Corinthians Chapter 9 verse 27, “But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.” (NKJV)
Discipline, when properly understood and practised in your being and that of your family, is powerful and life-giving.
Danger Zone
The ‘D’ word reminds me of an incident when I was a child, one that lives on in Marsh family folklore.
It was the late 1980s. My three younger brothers and I (our more sensible sister Melodie arrived in 1992) were typically rambunctious. Dad and Mum (Dads4Kids founders Warwick and Alison Marsh) constantly worked hard to keep us on track, but we didn’t always make it easy for them.
At that time, we lived on busy Gladstone Avenue in Wollongong on the South Coast of New South Wales, Australia. The front yard was well-fenced, but this particular day, for some unknown reason (probably retrieving a stray ball), we ventured from the front yard onto the shoulder of our bustling road. For obvious reasons, this was a big no-no.
The details to this day are still murky. Possibly only one, or it could have been all of us, committed this serious error of judgement. Boys, especially four close brothers who have disobeyed their parents, seem to excel at denial and obfuscation, otherwise known as lying. Despite our protestations, deep down we knew we had done the wrong thing. Firm discipline, punishment in fact, was required.
All four of us were lined up and, one by one, swiftly smacked on our derrière with a wooden spoon. The notorious part of the story is that the clearly defective, possibly well-worn, spoon snapped in half during one of the smackings. Which Marsh brother exactly possesses the buttocks of steel is still debated to this day, but I certainly remember the important lesson learnt crystal-clear.
The truth is, the backside pain was fleeting, but after that day, my brothers and I never, ever again ventured onto a busy road without parental supervision. Today, as grown adults, we each have a healthy respect for fast-moving traffic, and our children have had the importance of road safety instilled into them too.
Here’s the thing: As fathers, we love our children deeply. Yes, we should always love them unconditionally. That is our duty as dads. But we also must teach and discipline them, especially when it comes to matters that could impact their lives irreversibly.
Here are some ancient words of wisdom from Proverbs 13:24 for parents, dads in particular:
He who spares his rod hates his son,
But he who loves him disciplines him promptly. (NKJV)
Yes, strong words. Words that may offend some, but words that are expressed in the true meaning of devoted, fatherly discipline. I hope these words encourage you, with loving leadership, to disciple your children and help your family be the best it can be.
Lovework
Long live the ‘D’ word Discipline! As a father, practise the art of discipline in your own life and tenderly disciple your family. Guide and teach your children well, as as The Marsh Family Band sings. One day, they’ll thank you.
Yours for discipline,
Nathaniel Marsh
P.S. Thanks to the generous support of amazing Dads4Kids donors, we’re able to send out this Weekly Email Newsletter. If you enjoy receiving weekly fathering inspiration and encouragement, please consider supporting Dads4Kids on a monthly basis.
P.P.S. If you’re a dad or grandad near the South Coast of NSW, please consider joining us at our upcoming Dads4Kids Fun Camp at Coolendel, 7-8 November 2025. Click here to find out more and register, which helps us with planning for the event. Warwick and I would love to see you there!
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