“The idea is to die young as late as possible,” are the humorous words of Ashley Montagu. Perhaps my younger brother, Cameron Marsh, never heard those words because, sadly, he has beaten me to the grave. My younger brother died in a car accident in Tasmania on 16 January 2025, not too far from where he lived.

Cameron was a passenger in a car, and it was relatively instantaneous. Obviously, he did not expect it. None of us expect our own death, even though it is inevitable! Benjamin Franklin’s famous quote comes to mind, “In this world, nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.”

I’m happy to report that I had talked to him two days before on the phone. My last words on most of my phone conversations are, “I love you.” I was especially glad I did this when I last spoke to my brother.

I was even gladder that I made my brother stand up at my 70^th birthday party, to thank him for coming all the way from Tasmania to my party, and for being my brother. I even asked the audience to enthusiastically cheer him.

Better still, my wife and I were in Tasmania in December last year, and we spent the best part of three days together with my brother. The words I love you and I appreciate you crossed my lips more than once, but not as much as I would have liked.

Brian Clough was right to say, “Don’t send me flowers when I’m dead. If you like me, send them while I’m alive.”

Two of my sons were able to make it to Cameron’s Thanksgiving Funeral Celebration Service. With my wife, we shared one of Cameron’s songs, as he too was a singer-songwriter. Both Nathaniel and Israel shared a short tribute to my brother, as did Jack Dance, his eldest grandson. I did the eulogy and Cameron’s pastor, Greg Jones, gave a great message. Watch it below.

I find funerals fascinating because you cannot script what people are going to say. When someone dies, you usually hear the truth because it has a funny way of bobbing to the surface in the furnace of grief.

Legacy of Love

You might remember two months ago, I wrote a story about UFC promoter Dana White’s Ultimate Test for Success.

This quote by Dana White from the article tells the story well:

“You know everybody’s always asking about your legacy. What you did for a living isn’t your legacy. Your legacy is your children, and their children, and how they feel about you.

We all make mistakes, and we all fail in life in many different ways and many different things. My opinion is the one thing that you cannot fail at is being a parent. This is the ultimate failure. It shows that you really weren’t focused on the right things in your life if that’s what you fail at.”

The really good news is my brother Cameron left a living legacy displayed in his only daughter, grandchildren, nephews and nieces. The furnace of grief brings the truth to the top.

Jack Dance, speaking on behalf of the Dance family at the Celebration Service, said,

“Pop was always someone who was generous with his time. If there was a job to be done, whether for family or for friends, and he was able to help, he would be there…

‘Bless you guys’ was one of his favourite sayings. We are truly blessed in so many ways, and we are blessed because we had a Pop with a strong faith who prayed for us and believed in us. Pop loved us and loved his family more than anything; we will miss him for his fun and the special character he was and all that he brought to our family.”

Watch Jack Dance’s photo tribute to Cameron here:

Lee Dance, Cameron’s daughter, had this to say about Cameron,

“We are forever thankful that we had a Dad who took us to church, encouraged our Faith, talked openly about his love for Jesus and exemplified how to love others well.”

Friedrich Nietzsche was right to say,

“What the father has hidden comes out in the children, and often I have found the children to be a father’s revealed secret.”

Dana White said, “My legacy to me is when I drop dead, and my kids are at my funeral. I want my three kids to get up and say he was an awesome dad.” Thankfully, my brother Cameron passed the Dana White Ultimate Test for Success. His children and grandchildren were honest about his many quirks, but all experienced his legacy of love that all good fathers share with their children.

Lovework

Can you pass Dana White’s Legacy of Love Success Test? Here it is again in Dana’s own words, in case you have forgotten.  “My legacy to me is when I drop dead, and my kids are at my funeral. I want my three kids to get up and say he was an awesome dad.” I don’t know about you, but I am still working on it.

Yours for a Legacy of Love,
Warwick Marsh

PS: Just a very practical suggestion. Do your Will sooner rather than later. Australia Post has a simple do it yourself Will Kit which my wife and I used over 16 years ago. You will save your loved ones a lot of needless expense and a lot of heartache if you do.

___

Republished with thanks to Dads4Kids.  Image courtesy of Adobe.