Tarzan’s Grip or Loctite is the best way to glue materials together. Both of these adhesives are commonly called ‘superglues’.
But what is the best way to glue families together?
Marriage is the superglue that bonds families together like no other adhesive!
Marriage protects our children.
Marriage guarantees our children’s future.
Marriage protects our finances and our children’s finances.
Marriage protects men and marriage protects women.
Best of all, marriage protects and turbo-charges love.
When it comes to family adhesives there is no better love glue than marriage.
Funnily enough marriage is also one of the most fragile of all family based adhesives and requires constant input. Andre Maurois said, “A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt everyday”.
It is hard for us, as men, to comprehend a superglue that needs constant upkeep. Our motto in the workplace is ‘set and forget’. But when it comes to marriage, the exact opposite is the case. Set and remember and then work at keeping that edifice of love in beautiful condition.
This week Alison and I were interviewed by 98.5 Sonshine FM by Christine Layton as part of the Marriage Week celebrations. I am a firm believer in making radio interviews fun. I also believe the same about marriage. So we all had a lot of fun doing the interview. 98.5 Sonshine FM had chosen ‘The Five Love Languages’ as it’s Marriage Week theme.
If you want to keep the love glue strong in your marriage it requires liberal quantities of the five love languages, especially from the man of the house. Someone has to step up to the plate. Someone has to lead the charge. Why shouldn’t it be you? The challenge you have is to practice all of the five love languages but also make sure you focus on finding out what your wife’s primary love language is and overdose her with it.
The Five Love Languages
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch
Find your primary love language by doing this online questionnaire.
My wife’s primary love language is ‘acts of service’. You will never guess which of the five love languages I place on the bottom of my list? Yes, right, ‘acts of service’. It has taken me many years to learn my lessons and begin the overdose campaign, and even now I regularly fail. This was the confession I had to make to my listeners on Perth radio. Christine was entertained by my failure, but such is the challenge of keeping the edifice looking loved. As I told Christine, “It is easy to fall in love but you have to fight to stay in love”.
Last Wednesday I conducted a Fatherhood Success Seminar in Dubbo, NSW for 44 brave dads who want to become better fathers. I use the word S-U-C-C-E-S-S as an acronym. The fourth letter is a ‘C’ which stands for ‘Cherish your wife’. The word ‘love’ has lost a lot of its energy, by both overuse and poor association. I told the guys, “The greatest thing a man can do for his children is to love his children’s mother and the greatest way he can do that is to put a ring on that woman’s finger and say ‘I do’”.
A great woman once said, “Love is being committed to being committed”. The very act of saying the marriage vow publically makes the Loctite stronger. Keeping your sex life strong, active and healthy makes the Tarzan’s Grip stronger as well. In fact everything you do in the way of expressing the five love languages to your wife adds strength to the superglue of love and builds a future for your children and a springboard for their success. Would you have it any other way?
Even if you know your love language – do the quiz again. I just did it and found that my #1 is Physical Touch, followed closely by Words of Affirmation.
More importantly, what is your wife’s?
Find out and overdose her with love. You will never regret it.
Yours for more love glue
PS. A big welcome to all the enthusiastic Dubbo Dads who attended the Seven Secrets for Success Seminar and have just joined up as subscribers to our weekly Dads4Kids newsletters.
If you would like to book a Fatherhood Success Seminar in your area please contact: firstname.lastname@example.org for more information.
PPS. This Thursday 25 September Dads4Kids will be speaking on behalf of single dads to the House of Representative’s ‘Inquiry into Child Support and Family Law’.
Quite simply: if women were routinely treated the way men are treated by the Child Support Agency, there would have been a dozen Royal Commissions by now. Obviously the answer is to build stronger marriages and more resilient families. Our society needs an overdose of love glue. In the meantime, let’s all work together for a system that treats men and women fairly and really is in the best interests of our children and doesn’t just ‘say so’.