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The Valentines Day Challenge

Yes, it is Valentine’s Day this Friday 14 February, and the first thing you are going to say is,

“What does Valentine’s Day have to do with dads?”

Actually, quite a lot! Firstly it was the passion of love for the woman of your dreams that got you into being a father in the first place. Remember when you could do nothing else but think of her? Remember when the smell of her perfume would send you off into romantic wonderland? How about the time your friends discovered you were in love so they mocked you and took the proverbial out of you, just to see you squirm? But you were happy because you were in love and you didn’t care.

But all that has changed. Now you are in survival mode in your relationship. You are paying a high rent or an even higher mortgage and you have to work harder and longer than ever before. Your wife doesn’t look as good as she used to and you are making love less than you ever did.

Even if your relationship doesn’t need a kickstart, we all need to keep the love fires burning and I have an idea that will help your relationship. It’s called the Dads4Kids Valentine’s Day Challenge. Simple really, the challenge is to do something different for Valentine’s Day or in the leadup to Valentine’s Day for the woman of your dreams to make her feel special, more special than she ever has before!

That is much easier for you than it is for me. You see, I have five children, five grandchildren and have been married for 38 years and frankly, I have run out of ideas.

But then I found out about Fawn Weaver and the Happy Wives Club. Fawn started the Happy Wives Club three years ago to find a million happy wives who were committed to their marriage. She then visited 12 countries and talked to hundreds of couples about the secrets to a long and satisfying marriage and put it all in a bestselling book of the same name. Fawn’s site has been voted the number one marriage site in the world by Readers’ Choice About.com.

So being a pretty smart sort of guy, I thought the best way to get some new ideas about celebrating Valentine’s Day is to go to a woman. So I went to Fawn Weaver’s blog and found this fantastic marriage tip which gave me a great idea to meet the Dads4Kids Valentine’s Day Challenge  and hopefully it will give you some inspiration on the way you can meet the Dads4Kids Valentine’s Day Challenge. The following reflection went out to the Happy Wives Club members: “How do you recover from a negative period in your marriage when all you can focus on is what is wrong with your spouse?”

The solution is simple.

Shift your focus to the good to improve your marriage.

I’m not asking you to ignore issues.

I’m suggesting a different approach.

I want you to focus on being grateful.

Just once a day.

Because gratitude is the spoonful of sugar that helps marriage in the most delightful way. (Tweet that!)

I wrote previously about Darren Hardy’s Thanks-giving Journal.

Following an argument, he decided to write to his wife to let her know how grateful he was for her:

While he struggled at first to look for those blessings, he found his attitude had completely changed to one of deep love and thankfulness once he finished with his message.

Believing he had stumbled onto a great idea, he began a yearlong project.

Every day, he would spend a few minutes noting just one thing about his wife that he admired, adored, or enjoyed, and wrote it down.

At the end of the year, he gave his wife this Thanks-giving Journal.

She cried and said it was the best gift ever.

What happened?

He was paying attention to the good, to the woman he fell in love with so long ago.

He detailed for her how she mattered, both to him and others.

Not only did it change his daily focus, but it improved the quality of his marriage.

Look for reasons to express your gratitude towards your spouse.

I encourage you to write it down daily, because gratitude is a matter of practice.

Say it out loud, too, with words like thank you, I appreciate that, I am so grateful when you do that!

You just might re-discover more to love about your other half, improve your marriage, be happier, and give the most amazing gift.

May you find happiness wherever you are! Kim at Too Darn Happy

So, being a smart guy, I have given the Happy Wives Club challenge my own marsh twist. I am going to send a letter of appreciation to my wife for the next five days. Each day she will go to the letterbox and get a surprise letter of gratitude. I will share with you my first letter if you promise not to tell her.

Dear Alison

It was great to wake up with you on Saturday morning and see you beside me. I rolled over and gave you a kiss and we reminisced about the night before, our very special weekly date night!

I enjoy being with you and I love your ‘occasional’ unpredictableness.

Thank you for being my constant love in the light of my constant unpredictableness.

Lots of love

Warwick, your husband.

Lovework

Friday 14 February is a special day so make sure you make it special for the mother of your children in some way. If you don’t, who will? She deserves it. She needs it, so why not give it to her?

If you can’t think of anything else, you could write five letters of thanksgiving. Need more inspiration? Check out Michael Hyatt’s ‘What I love about my wife’ blog. You never know, together we might start the Happy Husbands Club.  Always remember:  “Happy Wife – Happy Life”.

Yours for the Dads4Kids Valentine’s Day Challenge

Warwick Marsh

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