We were interrupted last week by learning about the joy of the journey for both fathers and grandfathers. We learnt the joy of birthdays, birth moments, and ‘having fun with your family’. Surely this was a good interruption, but I would now like to share my Seven Secrets for Success. These seven secrets line up with the goal setting assignment that we discussed for the New Year.
Remember, if you aim for nothing you are guaranteed to hit it.
If you don’t know where you are going you are probably on the road to nowhere. That’s why working out your direction for your life is so important.
At the beginning of the year I suggested that you establish some life goals for you and your family and write them down on a piece of paper. It’s important to write these goals down so you can see how you are going.
1) Personal or Self Goals
2) Family and Relationship Goals
3) Self-Development, Learning and Attitude Goals
4) Health and Fitness goals
5) Giving Goals
6) Work and Financial Goals
7) Spiritual Goals
You might well ask what this has to do with becoming a great father and having a successful family life. My answer is this. ‘If the saw is not sharp, it will not cut.’ You must first become the change you seek. You are the leader in your family. The best way to lead is by example. Being a successful father has to be viewed in the context of the bigger picture of your family, your relationships, your work, your health and your self-development as a man and spiritual being. Love is the key and you must apply that love to the things that really matter.
The Seven Secrets for Success could be better called the Seven Love Secrets for Life. I will share the first love secret with you in detail today.
First Love Secret
Love Truth and Love Yourself – at the same time. Jesus said, ‘Love your neighbour as yourself’. If you hate yourself you will secretly hate your neighbour. You will find that most success/motivational speakers and writers will always list loving yourself as a fundamental for success, but very few will also include loving truth on the same level. The reason this must be done is simple. If you don’t you are bound to fail. Our egos are very deceitful and that’s where we get into trouble. We start to believe our own press.
We humans are very resourceful – we manufacture our own lies about ourselves and then we invent logical arguments as to why we should believe our own lies. Shakespeare said, ‘To thine own self be true and as night follows day you cannot be false to any man. Doris Mortman said, ‘Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have.’ Proverbs says, ‘Buy the truth and do not sell it.’
Popular folklore has a similar saying that well articulates this, ‘Honesty is the best policy.’ Elbert Hubbard said, ‘Live truth instead of professing it.’ In Psalms it says, ‘God desires truth in our inward parts.’ Jesus said, ‘You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free.’ It is only when you know the truth that you can be truly free in yourself. You no longer have to please anybody, even yourself, because if you please the truth you will do yourself the biggest favour and everyone else at the same time.
Loving truth will provide you with the ultimate win-win situation. The alternatives are win/lose or lose/win. Both are unthinkable to the law of love because love puts a priority on what is best for everyone, which is really a father’s job.
So what are the Seven Secrets for Success? Well they relate to the Life Goals above. If you activate those seven ‘life goal’ subjects you will find the Seven Secrets for Success. The first goal regarding your personal goal, to love the truth and so learn to love yourself, I have explained in detail. As I have said earlier if you activate and unpack those seven life goal subjects you will find the Seven Secrets for Success.
Rudyard Kipling’s poem ‘If’ is a classic poem about the journey to manhood. To be a father you must first become a man. To be a man you must be initiated by the pain of life and pass the test of truth. This test of truth occurs throughout the whole process of life. For men, this is the greatest challenge.
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same. . .
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And — which is more — you’ll be a Man, my son!
Be inspired to become a lover of truth. Loving yourself should come pretty easy after that. Loving the truth is the foundation stone of your success as a father.
Yours for more successful fathers