Gordon Dalbey is a well-known writer and leader in the men’s movement. Dalbey is not travelling as much as he used to, but his legacy of wisdom lives on. His first book, Healing the Masculine Soul released in 1988 became a classic in the worldwide men’s movement, much like the poet, Robert Bly’s ground-breaking book, ‘Iron John’ which was released two years later in 1990.
Some time ago a good friend encouraged me to read Sons of the Father by Gordon Dalbey. It is probably one of the most profound books about fatherhood that I have ever read in my life. John Eldridge’s book “Fathered by God” is still my favourite but ‘Sons of the Father’ is right up there and, like good wine, it gets better with age.
The pervasive influence of political correctness stifles a lot of modern day writers on this subject. Gordon Dalbey in his book tackles the deeper spiritual issues of fatherhood and the development of the masculine soul www.abbafather.com. He shares both personal insights and stories from his decades of counselling.
When Gordon Dalbey was in Australia a few years ago and I caught up with him and recorded a Ten part video interview series. I encourage you to watch Part 6 of this video series, the subject of this week’s newsletter, for yourself and hear the man in person.
This sort of thing is always better caught than taught.
His book is well worth the purchase price as long as you don’t mind deep water.
The below excerpt also gives you an insight into Gordon’s relaxed and informative style:
What does a boy gain from having a father present that men today must remember? Apart from such ‘manly’ skills as business, carpentry, and auto repair – which a knowledgeable mother might teach equally well – what does the father communicate or impart to a boy that the mother cannot?
The most intriguing answer came to me after a long session of prayer and healing with a thirty-year-old man whose father had severely rejected him. ‘Sure, Dad hurt me terribly at times,” he said. “But I remember once, when my brother and I were about six and four, sitting on the bed with Dad, one of us under each of his arms as he told us a bedtime story.
“I don’t remember what the story was, but I’ll never forget feeling there was something different about him that I’d never felt from Mom – something hard to describe, but definitely masculine, like a kind of brown ooze coming out of him and going into us little boys.”
Fascinating! I thought – then wondered: Where have I experienced the ‘brown ooze’ myself?
Praying later, I thought of years ago, when I was a small boy and my father was a Navy officer stationed aboard a ship. When the fleet went to sea, I missed Dad as deeply as I rejoiced, on seeing him in his khaki uniform open the door, squat down with arms open, and call to me, “I’m home! How’s my boy?” Heart racing, I sprinted to him and threw my arms tightly around his neck as he lifted me high off the ground in his secure embrace . . .
When my sisters and I finally gave him a chance, he set his hat on the table and embraced Mother – whereupon I turned with awe and approached the table reverently, to do what my mother and sisters could not do. Slowly, with both hands, I lifted The Hat. As if to crown myself, I angled its thick band and strong, hard visor sharply off my forehead and down the back of my neck; otherwise, laid squarely on my head, it covered my face down to my chin. In the embrace, in The Hat, I was one with my father – certified as a man-to-be, anointed with the brown ooze.
Read to your children.
Sit with your children.
Play with your children.
Talk with your children
– because you never can tell when the ‘brown ooze’ effect is taking place.
Yours for the ‘brown ooze’
PS: The North Korean threat of nuclear war is very real at this time. Kim Jung-Un showed a video replication of a nuclear warhead striking and destroying an American city on North Korean national TV a few weeks ago. America and Australia have every right to be concerned. Fortuitously another organisation I am helping lead, called for five days of prayer and fasting for America at this time from the 30 April to 4 May 2017, well before this crisis became apparent.
Australia and America have a long history of fighting wars together. Without America winning the Battle of the Coral Seas in May 1942 with the loss of 646 men from the USA Navy, Australia would have been invaded with an infinite greater loss of life. The day we finish this period of Prayer and Fasting is the 4 May 2017 (America’s National Day of Prayer) and marks the 75th celebration of the Battle for the Coral Sea. Lest we forget! Pray with us at this time if you are able.