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Dad Jokes

They sell books sometimes at the gym my wife and I go to. The other morning, always on the lookout for books for me, our readers and our grandchildren, my wife excitedly called me across to the gym book table.

Look at this, she said, holding up a book of illustrated dad jokes by Katrina Germein called, “My Dad Thinks He’s Funny”.

Whenever I say, “I’m hungry,” Dad says, “Hello Hungry. Pleased to meet you.”

Whenever I put lots of sauce on my plate, Dad says, “Would you like some dinner with that sauce?”

And whenever we’re about to cut up a cake for dessert, Dad says, “Well, there’s my piece. What’s everyone else having?”

My dad thinks he’s funny.

When I say, “Dad, do you know what?” He says, “I don’t know What, but I know his brother.”

When I say, “Dad, I don’t know how,” he says, “I know How, he’s What’s brother.”

And when I say, “Dad, I don’t want to,” he says, “Okay then …Do you want three?”

My dad thinks he’s funny.

When I tell Dad my finger hurts, he says, “Let’s chop it off!”

When I tell Dad my foot hurts, he says, “No problem. You’ve got another.”

And when I tell Dad I think there’s something in my eye, he says, “Yeah, an eyeball.”

My dad thinks he’s funny.

If anyone asks, “How are you going? Dad says, “by bus.”

If I fall over, Dad says, “Welcome home. How was your trip?”

And if anyone asks, “What’s up?” Dad says, “Just the sky.”

I bet your dad used to tell you Dad Jokes when you were young. Now you find yourself saying the same thing to your kids. Dad jokes are often wedged into our DNA but can cause trauma as the video below shows.

Survivors of Dad Jokes

Realising that I needed a second opinion on my own dad jokes, I rang each of my children to see if they were emotionally scarred because of my dad jokes. They were all very kind to me and said that I used to tell mostly funny jokes. For example, the one about the church that was unable to pay its bills and was in danger of closing down. The elders called an urgent board meeting. One of the board members, an electrician came up with a great idea to solve the crisis.

“I will wire up the seats. On Sunday, when the minister gives a special emergency appeal for funds to clear the debt and asks all those who want to give a thousand dollars to stand to their feet, I will flick the switch so that the electrical current will go through the seats and everyone will stand up.”

Another board member was away the day of the appeal. He enquired the following week on how the appeal went. The minister replied, “It went very well. We raised $120,000 and killed two Scotch men”.

Whilst my dad jokes did not permanently damage my children, my daughter-in-law does find it humorous that I buy myself a present, wrap it, and then give it to myself every Christmas. It is a well-known fact that all my children think is funny, and strange, that I sprinkle milk powder on my ice cream. I find both those two things incredibly normal, but I also think Mr Bean is hilarious so I may have some serious problems.

Recently I was holding a Fatherhood Success Seminar in Tamworth, NSW. I use S-U-C-C-E-S-S as an acronym and asked the seminar participants what the first ‘C’ in success stood for as a foundational characteristic of good fathering. One guy yelled out ‘comedian’ because every father has to keep the family laughing. First I told him that he was wrong, but now I realise that he was right. What do you think?

Lovework

That’s right, you guessed it. Start practising your Dad Jokes.

Last week was Marriage Week and we titled the newsletter “Things You Don’t Say to Your Wife”. We’ve named this week “Dad Jokes Week”.

This is your opportunity to spend the week making your children laugh.

Tell Dad Jokes, but make sure they are funny because one of your jobs is to keep your family laughing. As Victor Borge said, “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people”. Another great man said, “the family that laughs together stays together”. Truer words were never spoken.

Yours for more laughter
Warwick Marsh

PS. We extended our Dads4Kids Father’s Day Fundraising Appeal. The good news is that since last Sunday’s newsletter we have had two more donations totaling $55 dollars. The bad news is we are still need $14,408 to reach our goal of $25,000. One of this week’s donors said, “Keep going guys, the world needs you.” So the really great news for our children is that we are not giving up. Who would have thought that when we started Dads4Kids in 2002 that schools in 2016 would be teaching our daughters they can be boys and our sons that they can be girls. Mark Latham was right to say we are fighting for the future of our civilisation. In the light of our faithful donor’s words, “Keep going guys, the world needs you” we will extend your opportunity to give to this appeal until Friday 30 September. Every amount given helps our children by resourcing fathers to be the best they can be. DONATE NOW!

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