Dr Bruce Robinson is an amazing man. He is able to inspire you to be a good dad because of his own enthusiastic honesty and transparency about his own failures as a dad.
I can remember being in a private dining room in a fatherhood seminar, listening to Dr Bruce Robinson, with the Deputy Prime Minister on one side of me, and the Opposition Leader on the other. It was a surreal experience, in the best possible sense.
They were drinking in Bruce’s every word, and so was I. You see, I had organised the Fatherhood Success Seminar in Parliament House, Canberra, with Dr Bruce Robinson to help the busy dads in Parliament be better dads. Bruce is the author of Australia’s bestselling book on fatherhood, Fathering From the Fast Lane – Practical Ideas for Busy Dads.
In the book’s introduction, Bruce recounts an experience that left him with a deep sadness.
I was dining with a group of people and was talking to a woman across the table from me who, it turned out, was the daughter of a doctor. On further discussion, it turned out that her father was a doctor I knew from my medical student years.
I was delighted to meet her, because her doctor father was my earliest role model – he was kind and respectful to all the patients and staff, was loved by everybody, and always had extra time to talk to anyone who was in need.
Whenever he walked into the wards, the nursing staff, no matter how flustered and bad-tempered they may have been beforehand, all seemed to calm down and become relaxed. We all considered him a bit of a saint, really. I assumed that he was a wonderful dad.
As I enthusiastically related this to his daughter, a surprising thing happened. Just as I finished enthusing about how he always had time for others, her beautiful face contorted in anger and she stated, “Yes, but he never had time for us, his own children.”
She then went on to describe how her father put all his energies into his work and neglected his own kids. His failure to be a good father to her was, and remains, a very difficult ongoing issue for her and caused her to resent her father’s work.
I wonder what happened to her father? I am sure he did not set out with the intention of overworking and neglecting the emotional needs of his children, leaving them with lifelong emotional difficulties because of it. He made the three common mistakes that we fathers often make.
1. He gave his work too much of his time
You can give a lot of time to work and still be a good dad, but he did not know when to stop.
2. He gave his work too much of his energy
When he came home, he didn’t have enough energy left to focus on what his children really needed from him. He may have relied on his wife to meet those needs in the children – that is never enough.
3. He allowed a contest between work and family
In the end, his work was seen by his children as the enemy of his fathering. It is possible to make your work a friend to your fathering, rather than its enemy.
Dads4Kids has been helping men take Bruce’s wise advice on how to become better fathers and put a priority on their children, for the last 22 years. With your help, we will continue to do so.
– 21 million Australians have seen Dads4Kids’ TV Community Service Ads encouraging them to prioritise their children. It is worth noting that this equates to 16 million dollars’ worth of Dads4Kids TV ads run for FREE. Dads4Kids is very cost-effective as we get free airtime!
– Millions of Australian men have been encouraged as fathers by our 60-second radio Dad spots, plus our media appearances on ABC TV, Channel 7 and Channel 9, not to mention our Facebook and Instagram social media campaigns to encourage fathers and help children thrive!
– Thousands of fathers have been helped by our Fatherhood Success seminars, men’s breakfasts, speaking engagements, fatherhood courses and Men’s Leadership Summits to be better dads to benefit their children.
– Hundreds of millions of children have been helped internationally by the Dads4Kids global promotion of positive male role models through International Men’s Day.
– 3,562 fathers’ lives have been saved in Australia over the last 22 years (we believe this figure is conservative). Most of these men are fathers, so there are thousands of happier children because their dad is still with them.
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