Humour is usually the intersection of reality with the ridiculous. This can take many shapes and forms, but what I have noticed is that really good comedians are usually very good social commentators.
I should have realised this the night I was doing a Fatherhood Seminar in Launceston. The title was ‘The Seven Secrets for Success”. I use the acrostic SUCCESS for the Fatherhood Seminar.
When I first did this seminar, all those years ago, none of the three ‘S’s in SUCCESS stood for sex because I was trying to get men to deal with other issues besides that one.
I was foolish enough to ask a rhetorical question, “What does the first S in SUCCESS stand for?” Some joker at the back of the room yelled out ‘SEX”. Everyone laughed and I retorted “WRONG” but all night long I had the sinking feeling that my friend at the back of the room was right. After all, how can you be a father without first having sex. It takes a man and a woman to produce a child and it takes a committed and loving mother and father to raise a child.
What is that great maxim of fathering? “The greatest thing a father can do for his children is to love his wife.” Therefore the great challenge a man faces in marriage is keeping his zipper zipped at the wrong time, and unzipping it at the right time and truly satisfying his wife in the process. The even greater challenge a man faces is creating the right time, and creating it consistently.
I said earlier that comedians are usually good social commentators and the laughter proved our friend at the back of the room’s point, that sex and sexual integrity are critical factors for good fathering.
It was not long before I had to deal with this issue and tackle it fair and square to try and help men and fathers navigate the challenge of mastering the art of sexual integrity. So in 2005 Dads4Kids held Australia’s first Sexual Integrity Forum at Federal Parliament in Canberra. I wanted to call it a Sex Forum but my wife persuaded me it might attract the wrong audience. I am glad that her wisdom prevailed as I have enough bad press already without trying to create more.
So Dads4Kids, in cooperation with such luminaries as Dr Allen Meyer and Melinda Tankard Reist, former prostitute and brothel operators, parliamentarians from all sides of the political spectrum, doctors, academics and general nobodies like us made history by holding this forum. The team at Dads4Kids put together the Sexual Integrity Strategic Policy Plan and Sixteen Reasons Why Sexual Integrity Matters. Dads4Kids is still to this day the biggest supporter of Jason Huxley’s work at Guilty Pleasure helping those who are stuck in porn addiction.
All of this is important but how do you best help men navigate the complexities of having a satisfying sex life and make sure their wife is satisfied in the process. As I said before the really great challenge a man faces as a father and a husband is creating the right time for sex and creating that time consistently. Mark Gungor, the author of ‘Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage’ argues that time comes, on average, every 3 days for the male of the species. Many men would feel that time only comes once every 3 months for their wife and herein lies the challenge. As Dr Allen Meyer, author of Valiant Man says, “Men live in a testosterone fog but women live in an estrogen mist.
Rather than pontificate, I am going to ask you to do something special as your lovework this week. You must be prepared to laugh and you must be prepared to learn. This YouTube, called ‘Business Time’ from the comedy singing duo Flight of the Conchords has 32 million views. Interestingly, it is their most popular comedy by a long way. As the man said, “the best way to learn is to laugh”.
Watch Business Time by Flight of the Conchords with your wife, and laugh. together because the couple that laughs together stays together.
Business Time by Flight of the Conchords
Then answer the following three questions together.
1. What is the best night of the week for ‘business time’ and what are the ‘right’ conditions?
2. What is the importance of business socks for ‘business time’?
3. This is the really important question – How can you make your ’business time’ better, and more frequent? Check out this Special Feature for some ideas.
Yours for a better business time
PS. The reason we are featuring ‘Business Time’ in this week’s newsletter is because of the great news that the combined churches of Australia are calling for a month of prayer and fasting for marriage and family for the month of October. Yours truly is in charge of putting together a daily devotion for this important time of prayer for the preservation of marriage. Marriage redefined is marriage destroyed.
Marriage is all about the consummation of sex between a man and a woman. Genderless sex is masturbation not consummation. It is the very difference between the masculine and the feminine that makes sex in marriage so delightful and yet so challenging as the Flight of the Conchords so eloquently point out.
Anyway I needed some educational videos for these devotionals because a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. Our friends at Celebrate Love gave us the link
To sign up for the daily devotion for the month of Prayer and Fasting for Marriage from 1-31 October click HERE.