Things You Don’t Say to Your Wife

Some time ago I came across a Tim Hawkins’ video on YouTube. Tim Hawkins is a musical comedian with a difference. He made up some very interesting new words to the Green Day song, “Time of Your Life” and renamed it ‘Things You Don’t Say to Your Wife.’

The second verse goes like this:

I planned a hunting trip next week on your birthday.
I didn’t ask you ‘cause I knew it’d be okay.
Go make some dinner while I watch this fishing show.
I taped it over our old wedding video.
If you’re a man that wants to live a long and happy life,
These are the things you don’t say to your wife.

I had to smile so I wouldn’t cry because once upon a time I made such a mistake. (If only it was only once!)

My wife and I have a wonderful thing called our ‘date night’. We started it about 15 years ago.

Although we have been married now for 40 years we should have started a date night straight after our honeymoon but being young, stupid and busy, we didn’t, or at least I didn’t. Children, business, career, more children, music, more busyness, surviving, more children, and the list goes on, none of them sufficient not to have a weekly date night, but that is another story.

Our date night is Friday night, but this particular Friday we found ourselves working back late on the weekly newsletter to help families. How dumb is that? Helping other families while destroying your own?

But wait it gets worse: So I said to my bride, “Honey, how about we have our date night on Saturday night instead?” She cooingly agreed.

Saturday night we went out for a pizza together and I asked my wife, “Can we celebrate our date night by watching the St George Dragons play Canterbury Bulldogs in the semi-final of the Australian Rugby League Grand Final?” (For our American readers think Grid Iron Super Bowl without the protective pads and helmets). You can tell this match was some time ago because Canterbury are currently number 7 and the Sea Eagles are number 13 which places them almost at the bottom. As Ned Kelly once said, “Such is life”.

Alison graciously said yes, but then she decided the spectacle of 26 grown men fighting and bashing each other over a pig skin inflated with air was beyond the realm of human reason. She decided to go outside to do some night gardening. Obviously some people have a strange set of priorities. Of course ‘yours truly’ was so engrossed in his romance with the game that he forgot about his romance with his wife.

I was praying so hard for the St George Illawarra Dragons to win so they could go through to the Grand Final. Unfortunately, the Lord didn’t hear my prayer and neither did my wife. We both fell into bed and promptly went to sleep with a notable lack of romance between us. That’s when the words of Tim’s song came flooding back to me, “If you are a man that wants to live a long and happy life, these are the things you don’t say to your wife.”


Men, we have all been there. The main thing is not to do it again. That’s what I said the last time I did something stupid like that. Maybe that’s why Tim Hawkins has had 7,217,069 views of his video-clip.

Lovework for this week is ‘Don’t do as I do – do as I say’. How’s that for role modeling?

Yours for some more don’ts
Warwick Marsh

PS: Two important pieces of news:
Firstly: Thirty-two individuals have given a total of $10,537 towards our Dads4Kids Father’s Day Fundraising Appeal. The good news is our offer of $3,000 of matched funds has been achieved. The bad news is we are still need $14,463 to reach our goal of $25,000. The really great news is we are not giving up. We will extend your opportunity to give to this appeal until Friday 30 September. Every amount given helps our children by resourcing fathers to be the best they can be. DONATE NOW!

Secondly: We are going to have a Dads & Kids Fun Camp just for dads and their kids on the second weekend of October. Inspired from the Good to Great course, the inaugural Dads4Kids camp over 12 years ago was an outing comprising of course participants & their children as far away from civilization as we could manage. Away from mobile phone coverage and functional toilets. We played team games, built catapults, cardboard rafts and had bush tucker to rival Mick Dundee.

We have mellowed a bit and it is now held in the comparably civilized Glenmack Park, Kangaroo Valley on the South Coast of NSW. Our group reserves a large camping area where we congregate around a campfire, however the grounds have villas, cabins and powered sites available. It starts on Friday night 7 October 2016, as soon as you can get there, (hopefully about 6PM) and ends on Saturday 8 October 2016 at about 3 pm.

Everyone pays their own way. (Donation on the day to Dads4Kids)
RSVP: 30 September
Dads & Kids Camp Coordinator: Armen Vartazarian:
Mobile: 0425 345 200
More information in News & Info.

By |2019-03-05T03:55:46+10:00September 10th, 2016|Dads, Marriage|2 Comments

About the Author:

Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison Marsh since 1975; they have five children and nine grandchildren, and he and his wife live in Wollongong in NSW, Australia. He is a family and faith advocate, social reformer, musician, TV producer, writer and public speaker.

Warwick is a leader in the Men’s and Family Movement, and he is well-known in Australia for his advocacy for children, marriage, manhood, family, fatherhood and faith. Warwick is passionate to encourage men to be great fathers and to know the greatest Father of all. The Father in Whom “there is no shadow of turning.”


  1. Peter Allard September 10, 2016 at 7:07 am - Reply

    Before we fall asleep we practice mouth to mouth resuscitation as yours truly is now 80 years old. My wife is much younger since Maureen passed away many years ago. Loved your post and romance is the way to go daily… (Y) 🙂

  2. Laurie September 10, 2016 at 11:38 pm - Reply

    In 40+ years of marriage I have never missed my wife’s birthday. In fact, we always have a big family ‘do’ and she gets lots of presents, not just mine. Her birthday is on December 25.

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