Many years ago I received a message on the Dads4Kids answering service from a man in the middle of a marriage breakdown. It was a deep cry for help. His voice was quiet and determined and he alluded to the fact that he wanted to take his own life. I knew he was serious so I rang him back and left a message on his phone as he did not answer. I told him I appreciated his call and that I loved him and told him not to do anything silly because his kids needed him. The man rang me back sometime later and told me that my message had saved his life. He was intending to kill himself; such was his grief and depression at being so unjustly separated from his children.
Henry David Thoreau said, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.” I was afraid that this man, in the grief caused by the injustice of the Family Law Court and the anti-male system, was going to take ‘his song to the grave’ and rob his children of a loving father in the process. I know of many men who have killed themselves because of the vicious attack on their manhood they have endured at the hands of the governmental and legal system.
More recently I received a call from a broken hearted father, Steve, who was facing an impossible situation. I could tell he was on the edge and close to going over. After years of dealing with men I can tell just by the sound of their voice where they are up to. Steve’s wife, who he had separated from, had absconded with the children and he had not seen them for four months. He was thinking of ending his life. Steve was at the end of the rope in more ways than one.
Steve’s story was one of the worst I had encountered. After a tumultuous relationship and numerous false violence charges over a 4 year period, his ex-wife stole the children from him. In the meantime she was living with a new ‘boyfriend’. Eventually, after a Family Court battle, Steve was granted the notion of shared care, which is a euphemism for being an every second weekend father, which is actually anything but.
The problem was he found out that the children’s new stepbrother was sexually abusing his 4 and 5 year old girls. He was horrified and so called his neighbour, a no nonsense mother of six children in to talk with his girls and corroborate the facts. She wrote a letter to the authorities, DoCs were called in but his neighbour was never interviewed and the case was closed two weeks later without proper investigation.
Steve took his girls to a family GP, who after 8 separate visits and a thorough investigation wrote a letter to DoCs. Steve soon realised that the Joint Investigation Response team were now targeting him. As everyone knows, and as the feminists are wont to say, “All men are bastards”. The mother was advised by radical feminist support groups to take out an AVO and a simultaneous application to remove the father from the children’s lives forever.
The father was now trapped in the anti-father legal machine from hell. Steve was a guilty man, who every time he spoke to the police about the sexual abuse of his girls, was threatened with legal action and a possible jail sentence. Miraculously Steve kept his every second weekend access going, hearing every time they stayed with him some new story of sexual abuse and violent threats if they ever told anyone the truth of what was going on.
This heart-rending trauma for both his girls and himself went on for over 12 months. Steve was caught between the devil and the deep blue sea. If he were to flee with the children (which the mother had done) he would be charged and put in gaol and his girls would suffer even more abuse. He would not be there to love and care for them. If he kept on protesting the horrific abuse he would be removed from their lives forever.
I talked with Steve several times and prayed with him on the phone, often with tears. As a man, he was in a no-win situation because of the radical feminist ideology which controls the court system, the police and the social services. It was like being trapped by a man eating killer anaconda. Every time he moved the snake’s grip got tighter. Every time he spoke, there was a little less breath in his lungs as the snake closed its deadly grip on its prey. Sadly though, the real prey was his two beautiful girls. Most men would gladly die for their children and Steve was no exception but in Steve’s case death was not an option. The hate filled accusations continued without relent until he was drowning in a sea of lies and legal absurdity.
Steve’s gentle patience and perseverance won out in the end. The girl’s new stepbrother publically confessed to the sexual abuse of Steve’s two girls. The court system and social services tried to cover up the facts and continue to make it hard for the Steve. The court system finally gave Steve the custody of the children and the mother was treated for mental illness and thankfully is responding well to treatment.
The above story is in a shortened form. The long version would fill a book. It would not be so bad if this is the first story that I have heard but my wife and I have heard hundreds of similar stories that would break a grown man’s heart. Every disenfranchised father thinks his story is unique but each story has remarkable similarities with four fundamental assumptions held by those who wage a war against manhood:
* All men are violent
* All men are child molesters
* All men are guilty until proven innocent
* Manhood is something to be ashamed about and fatherhood is even worse
Is it any wonder that 2,292 males committed suicide in 2015, that is, 3 men for every 1 woman? The truth of the matter is that suicide is notoriously under reported so the real figure, particularly for men, is much worse. It is surprising that the big peak for suicide in men is in the child bearing years, courtesy of the anti-male Family Law Court, law enforcement and governmental systems all ruled by radical feminist ideologies.
Sadly, even organisations such as the White Ribbon Day that are fighting against violence against women are encouraging and perpetuating the war against men and fathers by disseminating false statistics.
If you would like to do something positive to help put a stop to the gender war, please read the Fox Now Guards the Hen-house by Bettina Arndt this week and remember to speak up when you have the opportunity against the unfair bias against men. Yes, write letters to the paper, write to your local politician. Tell the world the truth. That’s why International Men’s Day is so important.
The sad thing is that very few of us do speak up because, as the man said, “I have met the enemy, and the enemy is us”. What is killing Australian men more than anything else is our own apathy and “she’ll be right” attitude. Please prove me wrong!